3:48am
a jumble of words
awake, awake since 2:57 am, snorkeled in my CPAP, aching, bones grinding through thin skin, thoughts curled around me, burning ash, awake,
If I had a cigarette, I’d inhale it just to watch the smoke curl out of my mouth.
awake, curled, fetal, trying to hide in sleep, awake, white paper blankets covering children piled inside chain-link fences, chain-link, concrete horror, cold, and given granola bars,
I did this by ignoring it. We all are responsible.
fetal position, sleep, please, sleep,
ill people deported toward death, summa cum laude people, advocating people, inspirers, deported to death because they’re from Guatemala, deported, death,
where is sleep? gone,
speaking is futile, sleep is futile,
In the morning, I pretend I’m normal, in the morning, I flip into sunshine out of dark though gray skies suit me, rain cleanses the dry season, rain slakes the thirst. In the morning, I smile. Everything is set right in the morning, isn’t it?
in the morning, I make calls, I buy groceries, I squabble over the election, I cook, I clean, I work with children,
I try to be a helper. Fred Rogers would be proud.
I work with children,
the good ones, apparently, the others are cast aside, wrapped in white paper blankets, cast out,
How do we decide which children are worth teaching and which should be wrapped in white and piled up in stacks on concrete?
I fought hard, didn’t I? I spoke out, stood up, despite its terror, and spoke,
nothing,
futile sweat, futile crying out, standing up for what’s right, what’s right, fighting what’s wrong,
Why bother?
Because
Children wrapped in white paper blankets,
Children piled onto concrete floors,
Children huddled in pens,
Waiting,
given granola bars,
brown children.
Let’s talk about social justice in the morning.
Thank you for listening, jules