A Limp and Ragged Rant

I’ve been having trouble reading. Oh, I can still understand audiobooks, but I work harder trying to decode the words in print. Letters flip. Words switch into similar words before my eyes. It takes longer and gives me a headache to remember what I read. It’s the long-Covid brain injury stuff.

The term brain fog doesn’t have enough impact. People think it’s like when you have a hangover or the flu. It is like that at first, but after a few months, it’s more intense.

Sometimes, I wake up and my hand is crabbed into this position with my wrist clenched forward and my fingers splayed. Sometimes, when I’ve done too much, I get a feeling of being lost. I shake when I’m tired, type double letters, drop things, can’t write long-hand, and spill food. I repeat myself, forget to tell doctors my main complaint, and have things on my todo list that I don’t do for some reason other than forgetting or being too busy.

I miss my brain. I miss being an organized person. I miss being creative and working with plants on my back deck. I miss knowing how to end a good rant.

Thank you for listening, jules